The Voice of the Holy Spirit Sang to Me in the Darkness

"Don't write about the Holy Spirit. Don't talk about him. He is too holy, too sacred, yes too dangerous, to even think about."

These words spoken long ago by some now-forgotten preacher still haunt me even five minutes ago as I prepared to start this post. For 20 years I had feared even saying the Holy Spirit's name lest he be offended in some way. Christ's warning about the finality of sinning against the Holy Spirit was taken to heart with a vengeance that amazes me now.

Six years ago this perplexing experience started to change. Let me share an experience that I have never heard anyone speak of before.

Out of boredom I started singing a Christian song I learned at 16 during a young people's weekend at Camp Berkshire in Wingdale, New York. I sang it both in Spanish and English as I walked my golden retriever, Callisto, on his long, long walks through concrete and green in Ft. Lauderdale, Florida.

It's important that I share the entire lyric as you will understand that it was the vehicle by which the Holy Spirit spoke to me and changed me almost against my will. I must state that I was bored out of my mind and had gotten bored with singing pop tunes on my long, long walks with Callisto. This song, however, sprang to life and wouldn't let go. It had a will of its own. I'd stop singing it and it reasserted itself.

It's a wonderful, wonderful life when you're with the Lord above./ It's a wonderful, wonderful life when you're saved by his love./ There's a joy that you never can tell and great peace with the Lord above./ As I walk with the Lord in my heart there's a song./ It's a wonderful, wonderful life. -- Author Unknown

Week after week prior to 2005 I had been singing this song out of habit. I'd sing other songs, secular songs, but no other spiritual songs at all. In late 2004 or early 2005 I noted something was happening or had already happened. Without explanation I had a new-found interest in rising early and spending 30 minutes reading a chapter or two of the gospels in the New Testament, e.g., Matthew, Mark, Luke and John. I had no time to pray so I prayed on the way to work for 15-20 minutes.

After a few weeks of this I thought maybe it wouldn't be a bad idea to attend church again. I hadn't attended church at all in over 15 years. For some mysterious reason I actually enjoyed going to church. More importantly I enjoyed reading the Bible, the writings of Ellen White and other Christan books. I played no Christian music CDs even though I probably had one or two in some bottom storage box--who knows where in my home. The new songs I sang in church, praise songs, were all I needed for my new phase.

Then it dawned on me that I had been touched by the Holy Spirit, almost without asking for it. I must share with you that I never stopped believing in God even though my impression of God was and still is imperfect and skewed by life's experiences. Out of guilt and to avoid psychological discomfort only, I  had continued for 20 long years to repeat the following words on most mornings as I drove to work:

If you then who are earthly know how to give good things to your children how much more will your heavenly Father give the Holy Spirit to you if you ask him. Luke 11:13

These words were the only contact I had with God and with the religion of my parents and I was not about to give it up just in case there really was something to the God experience, salvation, heaven, eternal life, etc. It was how I convinced myself that I still held onto the only lifeline I still had in case these were more than just pleasant words written 2,000 years ago.

Three months after this change started occurring in me I was awakened in my darkened room at 4:00 or 5:00 a.m. by a voice singing inside my  head. It awakened me from a deep sleep with the clarity of its melody. I had not sang these words in over 25 years. The voice grew louder and  louder and the sweetness of the words almost moved me to tears. These are the words the voice sang [I am translating from Spanish as the voice was in the tongue of the first five years of my life:]

The Shepherd loves his sheep with a paternal love. The Shepherd loves his flock with a love that cannot compare. The Shepherd loves his other sheep that are scattered and lost. He looks for them with great concern wherever they may be be.

Down on my knees I found myself thanking God for the first and only time I had ever experienced such a phenomenon. I was actually hearing God's voice and in song. This time I knew something was happening, had happened, that had never happened before--at least not like this. This was the God experience and it took me decades of my life to fall into it. This was not some transitory emotion. This really grabbed me and wouldn't let me go. This was God taking me by the hand and  leading me very much like how I walked with my dear Callisto and led him on his daily walks.

Life has been full of temptations, disappointments and yes, shocks to my system, for six years now. But what else can I do?

When you have been touched by God it is for life. You just don't turn around and go anywhere else.

If you've never been touched by God, repeat the lyrics of my childhood song about how this is a wonderful, wonderful life. May God also touch you and never stop touching you throughout your life.

Jacob's Time of Trouble Happens in Your Mind

Before the sun set today I realized that during the past four years, especially this last year, I have been experiencing the long-awaited Jacob's time of trouble. Most of it is occurring in my mind. Some events, of course, happen around me or to me personally or to my loved ones.

This special time of testing, of doubt and of soon-to-arrive victory happens in my quiet moments. The Shaking has been trying to shake me loose, but I hang on by the power of God. The Latter Rain of the Holy Spirit has been falling since last spring.

Jesus' coming is only years away.

Jesus' coming is only months away.

Jesus' coming is only days away.

I believe Jesus Christ is coming back within my lifetime to take me with him. He's coming back to take my loved ones and all who believe in his name with him, as well.

The Second Coming of Christ is practically here. The Waiting is almost over.

Baptism Redux

Saturday, October 18, 2008. I was baptized for the third time. It was more special than the previous times. I had no family members in town as was the case 25 years ago. But at least I had some good friends who wished me well in the congregation.


No, I was not perfect, but waiting three years for that perfection to arrive did not dissuade me from stepping forward on Friday night. No one will ever be perfect until the Second Coming itself. As I waited for my turn to walk up and descend into the baptistry, I realized just how imperfect and sinful I was. But that was not going to deter me. I had been praying a lot about when the right time would come to undergo this event. Last Saturday was the day God had prepared for me to follow through with something that I had been praying about for three years.


There really was something different this time around. I know this time I really did receive the gift of the Spirit that's mentioned in the Acts of the Apostles.


I know I'll make mistakes and sin here and there, but I am in good company. All the folks who were baptized with me will also partake of these experiences whether intentionally or accidentally.


I walk in newness of life and it is intoxicating.

Latter Rain is Falling

Listen, the Latter Rain is falling.
Run out into the Spirit Rain as it pours on you.
Let it fill your mind and cleanse you of all impurities.

Holy Spirit, beautify my soul with the colors of grace.
Color my mind with the beauty of your love.

Wash me gently at first.
Then let the downpour begin.
Don’t let your Holy Rain stop until I’m all clean.

10 Days of Praying for the Latter Rain

5:00 a.m. prayer cycle at Fort Lauderdale Spanish Adventist Church begins Thursday, May 6

Raw impressions:

Day one Thursday: dark 4:30 a.m. rising, but full of mystical prayer. Pastor announces, without spelling it out, that we'd be praying for our (gay) neighbors that surround the church and who wish we were not in their upscale neighborhood. If only to pray that God will bless them and that they know that we mean them well and not harm, it will be worth praying for ten days, the pastor announces. At work I fight sleepiness by downing a rare two cups of coffee to not fall asleep at the manager's meeting and when dealing with clients. I'm more talkative and engaging than my usual reserve. I feel mild guilt that I have to resort to stimulants to compensate for the unfamiliar 4:30 a.m. rising. At night I witness to Peter, a non-believer, about my 5:00 a.m. prayer meeting and he seems glad for me in spite of his lack of faith.


Day two: too groggy to get up. I don't want to pray now and have to drink coffee later to ward off sleepiness at work. My day goes better than the day before as I get seven hours of sleep.


Day three Sabbath: Ancient sanctuary service as model for our approach to God in prayer. Incense as symbol of rising prayers. Mild emotion as sign of the Holy Spirit. Unconfessed sins an obstacle to revival. Alone in front of church at 5:00 a.m. No one called me to tell me they were meeting at 7:00 am, instead.


Day four Sunday: more familiar songs and requests for healing and blessing


Day five Monday: meditation announced. Breakfast with brethren each day after prayer service. Oatmeal, bread and fruit. Reminds me of early Christians meeting to break bread and pray.


Day six Tuesday: Hilda's emotional imagining of the Passion. Similar in style to some Pentecostal services I had attended as a young boy. Pastor had warned the day before that some would be upset by style of her vivid verbal re-experiencing of the Passion. I was spooked when I heard shuffling feet as everyone prayed and listened to the vivid account of the passion. I almost thought something supernatural might be happening, that Christ himself had appeared among us and was walking unseen as we prayed. I was too concerned to look behind me to see who might be shuffling across the floor as we all prayed and listened so intensely. At night I witness to my support group of mostly secular folk and am courteously received except for one man who seems upset that I chose to speak of telling my problems to God instead of a real-live person.

Day seven Wednesday: concerned about my health due to lack of sleep so I sleep in (evening prayer meeting about reform and revival supplements missed 5:00 a.m. prayer meeting). Elderly sister asked me if I thought we'd receive the latter rain soon. I respond that I believe Christ will return in my lifetime. Young mother hands me $50 dollar bill saying God impressed her to give it to me to help out my nephew in need of $350.

Day eight Thursday: Abraham and Isaac as models of true faith. Sister in front of me turns to me after opening song and tells me that I have a lovely singing voice. I thank her for her kind words. I feel yet again that I should perhaps try to sing special music some Sabbath morning or join the church choir as others have often told me to do. One cup of coffee just in case lack of sleep overcomes me again. Don't feel major guilt from the use of coffee.

Day nine Friday: Anointing & healing and prayer & bible readings by others. Testimonies were heard. I shared how my prayer request had been answered the day before regarding my uncooperative employees who were now on my side because we had a common enemy: anti-technology administrators. Several people went to the anointing corner next to the church piano were two female elders and the pastor prayed and anointed with oil those in need of prayer or healing. As I waited my turn, the reading of Psalms by the congregation seemed like chanting. My prayer was that God would prepare me for what for me would be my first anointing. All three prayed for me and then it was my chance to pray. My voice cracked as I uttered my last sentence: Oh that God would use me to win many souls for him.

Day ten Sabbath's end: The prayer cycle would not end. It would continue every Sabbath morning at 7:00 am. The Latter Rain is falling. We never imagined it would be like this.


I'll amplify as memories come back to be about elements of each day.