First of all, you need to see yourself as that homosexual sinner that you are trying to bring to the cross of Jesus Christ. You cannot hope to reach him if you see yourself as superior to him in any way. You may have a lovely Christian home. You may have a wonderful Christian spouse. You may have children who love you dearly. None of this, however, carries any wait with the homosexual sinner you are looking to lead to the power of the cross of Jesus. Unless you identify with the homosexual or gay person, your efforts will fall short of the mark.
Only God can help you see yourself as God sees that person in need of the cross of Jesus Christ. God sees you both in the same light. "All have sinned and fall short of the glory of God. AND all have been freely justified [considered fully forgiven and saved] by the redemption that came by Christ Jesus." Book of Romans. The only difference between you and the homosexual or gay person is no difference at all. You may say that you don't do the things he does. You don't go to the places he goes. What difference does that make in the final analysis? Both of you can only depend on the grace [loving kindness] of Jesus Christ. Were it not for that marvelous grace both of you would be eternally lost. So what is there, really, to boast about?
There are some matters to consider, however, when endeavoring to bring homosexuals or gays to Christ. First of all you have to realize that most, if not all of them, will never lose their attraction for their own sex in the same way that you will never lose your attraction for the opposite sex. The only difference is that you are either married or have the potential to get married someday. Few, if any, homosexuals or gays that come to Christ can have that guarantee. What then can a life in Christ offer them that would convince them that a sexless life with Christ is better than a sex-filled life without him?
You may speak of eternal glory, a home with the saints and other worn expressions that Christian evangelists have been using for decades. This will rarely appeal to the man (or woman) who may actually have a rather enjoyable and well-balanced life that includes a partner and a group of supporting friends. Why would such a person want to leave that all behind in order to come to Christ? Why would they want to suffer being ostracized in a congregation of mostly married church people with their children by their side? Why would they want to exchange feelings of self-confidence with feelings of self-doubt and of inferiority when they seek to compare their sexless and now-solitary life with the one that you enjoy with your spouse and children?
Some might say that there are no honest answers to these questions. Others might say that it is a matter of faith. If the newly repentant homosexual or gay person "looks to Jesus as the Son of God and believes in him ..." John 6, he will feel that nothing else matters because of the excellent reality that is that life of one who is hid in Christ.
Unfortunately, this is not always the panacea that many seem to think it is. What then can the Christian life offer the homosexual or gay person that he or she doesn't already have?
For one, it offers them freedom from potentially damaging multiple sexual relationships. In this regard the unconverted heterosexual and his/her homosexual counterpart are in the same situation. Both can suffer from the psychological wear and tear of going to bed night after night with different people in the belief that this will somehow relieve the burning desire to experience sex to its highest degree and to perhaps bask in the intimate afterglow that sometimes follows the heat of passion. Like anything carried to an excess, this constant nightly sex is as addictive as any drug or habit.
When Christ comes into the sinner's heart, be he homosexual or heterosexual, the non-stop need for sex and more sex and more post-coital intimacy when it does arrive briefly, then gradually ceases to assert itself in the person's life.
Some may point out that there are committed homosexual and heterosexual couples that do not live a life of "quiet desperation", Thoreau, and to these folks it is hard to present this argument. The problem presents itself differently in those cases. While it may be true that you can love only one other person and not be married to them, be they gay or heterosexual, since there are no matrimonial constraints, there is always the possibility that someone else may appeal more to the momentarily dissatisfied person and unless conscious of the slippery walk they have undertaken, they could very easily fall into the revolving door of nightly trysts in search of a replacement of the loved one that they were unfaithful to.
Needless to say, a legitimate marriage does not prevent either spouse from being unfaithful to each other, either. Sex and its temptations, whether in or outside of traditional marriages, is the great equalizer. For those who do not have the marriage contract, however, it is easier to dissolve the bonds that held them together. All cases, whether homosexual or heterosexual, have the potential to hurt those they love by the tragedy of sexual infidelity.
What then can the heterosexual Church member offer the justified homosexual or gay person that they did not have before, outside of the sheep fold of Christ? They need to be both friend and family member (or the next best thing to that ideal) to the now solitary and hurting person who gave up a caring partner and/or community of gay friends, in order to come to the fellowship of Christ. If the heterosexual Church--into which a newly converted homosexual or gay person has come seeking the saving balm of Christian fellowship--cannot offer the support, love and encouragement that he or she had in his or her previous life, then the evangelistic goals of that church are a sham and do not deserve to use the name of Christ when seeking to benefit those who are outside the church community.